A Painful realization

I pray for one good humiliation every day.  And then I see how I act when it happens.  

After some difficult conversation, perhaps having been confronted by another person, or experiencing that feeling of “that was a dumb thing to say,” I remember that growth almost always follows a painful realization of a mistake that I have made.  

I have prayed for growth.  I have asked God to show me more of His grace and to lead me on His path.  I have answered the call to follow Christ as His apprentice, and every day I am reminded that following Christ means inviting the humbling experiences that are included in the process of spiritual transformation.  

To learn to walk means to risk falling down.  To learn to dance means to risk the pain of a sprained ankle.  To wrestle with God and pursue His blessing means to risk damage to your hip (Gen. 32:22-32).  But when Jacob wrestled with God, he not only received God’s blessing, but also met with God face to face and received a new name.  He was transformed.  He walked away with a limp and a new identity.  He walked away with a realization that to seek God means to dive into mystery, into the unknown, to place oneself into the powerful and awesome hands of the God who is beyond our grasp of understanding (Gen 32:28, “Why do you ask my name?”).  

And yet, abandoning oneself into the strong and powerful hands of God is also where we experience the embrace of a tender and loving Father (Luke 10:20).  Those powerful arms and those strong hands reveal to us the compassionate heart of the Father who embraces me, 

the real me, 

the broken me, 

the hurt me, 

the stubborn me, 

the confused me, 

the sinful me, 

the selfish me, 

He embraces me in His strong Father-arms, 

receives me with a Father-heart, filled with compassion,

transforms me with His unrelenting grace,

and holds me in His never-ending love.